Collaborative law is an alternative dispute resolution process gaining popularity in a number of states. In the collaborative law process parties to a divorce, and their attorneys, commit to an honest, open, cooperative resolution of all issues without going to court. In fact, the defining feature of collaborative law is that both parties and both attorneys agree in writing that they will not go to court. Instead, they will provide open, informal, expedited discovery of all relevant facts and documents; they will participate in meetings and commit to bona fide negotiations. Some even agree to the use of a divorce coach or other professionals, such as financial consultants and child specialists, to help them make decisions that result in the best outcome for both parties and their children. If either party or their attorney decides that the case should go to court, the attorneys are both required to withdraw from the case and any disclosures to that point cannot be used in the court case without permission from both parties.

The vast majority of collaborative cases do settle without court intervention. Advocates of the process claim that most parties save significant amounts of money and time through the collaborative divorce process. The atmosphere of cooperation rather than competition sets the stage for future dispute resolution without court involvement, and allows for relationships that are more amicable for the parties.

As with so many issues involved in divorce cases, domestic violence may or may not play a significant role in the legal process depending upon the exact circumstances. Of course, in cases in which criminal law has been invoked because of the level of domestic violence, it will likely play a significant role in the divorce case. This is especially true in cases involving child custody and visitation determinations. However, if the parties don’t have children and the domestic abuse has been relatively minor, even if law enforcement has been involved, the domestic violence of one party against the other may play a miniscule legal role.

On the other hand, because the very definition of domestic violence implies an on-going pattern of control of one party by the other, using not only physically, but also psychologically and emotionally abusive methods, domestic violence may play a very significant role in the emotional and psychological aspects of divorce. This can be especially true in the original decision-making process of whether or not to initiate a divorce. Many victims of domestic violence leave a marriage because of the abuse, and many victims of domestic violence stay in the marriage because of the abuse, knowing that an attempt at separation might result in an escalation of all aspects of the violence.

As the answers to legal questions often do, the answer to this question usually generates a set of additional questions, such as:

• Who wants the order modified?
  In almost all cases in which someone other than a party to the divorce wishes to change the divorce decree the answer is no. Thus, the question should be, can the divorce decree be changed upon the request of a party to the divorce. This leads to more questions.
• What part of the order does the party want to modify?
  If the modification has to do with property division, in most states, the answer is again no, unless there is evidence that the original decree was based on significantly incorrect or fraudulent information. In this event, states provide procedures for correction of the order based on the newly revealed information. Since states generally require that the parties provide full disclosure of assets and liabilities, if the incorrect information was intentionally provided in order to conceal assets, the court may also impose significant penalties.

If, on the other hand, the desired modification involves other issues, child support, spousal support, child custody and visitation, the next question is typically:

• Has there been a significant change in circumstances since the entry of the decree that warrants a change?
• In child custody matters, a number of different factors can come into play so that the court may find there is a significant change in circumstances justifying modification. Some states require an even higher standard for modification of the decree in the first two years of an order simply to help insure that parents do not keep disrupting their children’s lives by dragging the other parent back to court.
• In child support and spousal support matters, the answer again depends on the question of whether there has been a significant change in circumstances to warrant the change. If so, the court may modify its original decree.

Prior to the institution of child support guidelines, child support determinations were entirely within the judge’s purview, based on only two factors. The first factor was the level of ability for the obligated parent to pay. The second related to the needs of the child. This situation has changed dramatically over the years, with changes gaining momentum from federal legislation that required more uniformity among the states in exchange for federal child support funding.

Now all states have adopted child support guidelines that must be applied in divorce and custody cases in which minor children are involved. States have, for the most part, made a determination that every child has the right to the support of both parents while at the same time, parents’ rights and needs are to be taken into consideration as well. Based on these principles, states have adopted formulas for determining what the level of child support should be. Generally, these guidelines are based on a percentage of each parent’s gross income. Most states also provide that the formulas are presumed to result in a correct amount; however, states have also adopted procedures for deviating from the guidelines.

Because of child support guidelines, a determination of child support in a particular case generally requires only entering the parties’ incomes and the percentage of time spent with the children into the formula to arrive at a solution. In other words, current state of the law does not provide much room for disputes about who should pay what amount of child support. Admittedly, the amount of time that children spend with each parent often does come into consideration, and some parties find themselves in the middle of a custody or visitation battle that may actually be a child support battle.

The consequences for violating child custody and visitation orders almost always correlate to the magnitude of the violation. For instance, if a parent is a few minutes late in arriving to pick up a child at the time for exchange, even though it may happen repeatedly, it is likely there will be little or no consequences for this minimal violation. For the most part, a few minutes difference in arrival time will not endanger the children in any way. On the other end of the spectrum, of course, is the situation in which a parent fails to return the children at the designated time and disappears with them with no trace for days, months and sometimes even years.

At the lower end of the spectrum of violations, most states do not provide much assistance to parties trying to force compliance with a court order. Often a parent, frustrated by such behavior from the other parent, may merely have to have ready a ‘plan B’ that insures the safety of the children while allowing the parent to minimize the inconvenience of the repeated tardiness or other minor violations.

At the upper end of the spectrum, depending on how long the children are gone and whether the parent has crossed state lines, and at even the middle of the spectrum, the full force of both state and federal law enforcement is enlisted to protect children and penalize offenders. It should be noted that the violation must demonstrate a criminal intent to withhold or conceal the child from a party with the right of custody before law enforcement considers a crime to have been committed.

All states have procedures for seeking enforcement of a court order through contempt proceedings. These procedures generally require the assistance of an attorney. Most courts look very unfavorably upon violations of its orders, typically providing a remedy for the other parent. Courts have been known to alter a custody or visitation schedule completely in response to a parent’s significant or repeated violation of their order.

The fact is that in 90% of cases in the United States where parents have decided they will not parent together, the parents are able to come to an agreement regarding child custody and visitation arrangements. However, the remaining 10% of cases where a court is involved can be devastating for parents, children, the extended families, and even for professionals involved in their cases.

Because of the high potential that a custody battle can have long-lasting negative impact on children, most states have instituted as many safeguards against that possibility as possible. In general, all child custody decisions are to be based on “the best interests of the children.” In many states, even in those cases where the parties have signed an agreement regarding custody and visitation, they are asked during the final proceedings whether they believe the custody and visitation arrangements are in the best interests of their children. Safeguards in place include:

• In many states, parents with a child custody dispute are required to attempt mediation of the custody issue before a contested custody case may go further
• In some states, in any contested custody matter, the court must appoint a guardian ad litem, an attorney whose role is to represent the best interests of the child during the course of litigation
• Sometimes the courts order “custody evaluations” which are investigations and reports from impartial professionals with specific training for the task, usually social workers or mental health professionals
• In some states, depending on the age of the children, courts allow children to have some input into their custody decisions
• All states have a long list of statutory factors that the court must take into account prior to making such determinations

All state divorce laws address the issue of whether, and for how long, one spouse shall be required to make support payments to the other spouse after termination of their marriage.

Factors to be considered by the court in the division of property, such as:

• The need of the requesting party, and the ability to pay of the other party
• Length of the marriage
• The extent to which the supported spouse contributed to the attainment of an education or professional license by the other spouse
• The presence of young children in the home
• Employment opportunities available to the spouse requesting support

Ironically enough, though spousal support may be a highly contentious issue in divorce, many couples are mutually able to make fair and reasonable support agreements as well. And, generally, at the end of a short-term marriage, in the absence of extraordinary circumstances, neither party is likely to end up with an award of spousal support.

Debt division is considered part of the divorce process. In equitable distribution of property states, the debt, like the property, is divided equitably between the parties. If the debt is secured debt, the general rule is that the value of the encumbered asset is reduced by the amount of the debt in determining division. For instance, this often happens in the case of family cars. For many divorcing couples, each spouse has a vehicle, but one may be a paid-for clunker worth relatively little with no car payment. The other may be a late model car worth well over $10,000, but with a loan balance equal to its present value. Despite the fact that the vehicles may have very different gross values, the net value for them may be equal.

A very common problem for couples in our current economy is that they have accumulated high amounts of unsecured debt, with little asset acquisition during the marriage. This situation poses a complicated issue for debt division. In cases such as these, the advice of a financial consultant, or even a bankruptcy attorney, could be very helpful to the parties.

As with other property issues, if the parties cannot come to a fair and equitable division of debt on their own, state laws typically provide a rationale for courts to follow in making debt division decisions.

Oklahoma provides for an equitable division of joint industry properties a.k.a. marital property. Marital property includes the parties’ incomes, acquired during the course of the marriage.

If the parties are able to come to a mutual agreement, the decision of who gets what property of course, up to the parties, but usually with approval by the court. Despite lore to the contrary, some divorcing couples are able to negotiate a fair and equitable division of the property without resort to a court’s decision-making process. However, for those unable to come up with a mutually agreed upon division of property, state law provides a list of factors that courts consider in making a final order.

Every state has its own laws for obtaining a divorce, or dissolution of marriage as it is called in some states. Like many other types of civil process, the legal process is somewhat similar in all states. The first step, in any divorce, is that one spouse or both spouses make a decision to initiate a termination of their marriage. Arriving at this decision is different for each individual. While generally not considered part of the legal process per se, how this decision is made may have significant legal consequences. Persons making this decision should consult first with a trusted attorney, a marriage counselor, a financial consultant, and/or any other trusted third party, before taking this often-drastic step.

At first, the legal process may seem complicated and confusing, but usually follows a rational and reasoned course. All issues to be decided, if taken individually, are typically resolved by taking the time to give each some careful consideration, investigation, and objectivity.

The normal issues to be decided in a divorce are how property is divided, how debts are divided, and, between parties with children, how legal and physical custody will be arranged and setting a visitation schedule. Other issues that may arise when children are involved are child support, and medical and childcare expenses. In longer-term marriages, the issue of spousal support may be addressed, and the terms of any prenuptial agreement will be analyzed. Those able to maintain objectivity and detachment while sorting through these issues often find the divorce process can actually help them move on in their lives without the battle scars some receive during their divorce process.