Divorce is hard on everyone. It is hard calling it quits on someone you thought was going to be your lifelong partner. It is hard for your children to deal with. It is hard going through the process and sorting out all of the details. But, sometimes divorce is for the best, and no matter why you are getting divorced, it is likely you want to keep it as civil as possible. Going through a divorce is hard enough as it is, and trying to keep it as friendly and civil as possible will help make the whole situation easier.
At Self Legal Group in Oklahoma City, we have a team of divorce attorneys who can help you through this challenging time, guiding you through the process and helping you figure out the best plan for you. If you are going through a divorce and need to get a divorce attorney involved, be sure to contact us today. We are happy to help in any way we can. In this blog, we are going to give you some tips on how to keep your divorce civil. Learn more and get in touch with us today.
DON’T PLACE BLAME
Playing the blame game during a divorce is the quickest way to turn a civil situation into an ugly one. As they say, it takes two to tango, and in most cases, a divorce is the result of a mix of things, involving both parties. While this isn’t always the case, if you can recognize your part to play and not place full blame on your spouse, you will be more likely to keep your divorce civil.
There are a lot of emotions involved in a divorce, from shame and guilt to anger and resentment. This can make it easy to simply place blame rather than thinking about the situation from an outside perspective. When you take the time to reflect on the entire situation and your part to play, it is easier to go into your divorce with empathy and understanding.
DON’T LET REVENGE TAKE OVER
Many people want revenge on their spouse during a divorce, but again, this is a quick way to turn a civil situation ugly. In the moment, it can be easy to feel the need to get revenge, but this will never make the situation better. Revenge is the last thing you want to add to the mix, especially if you both decided that it is best you go your separate ways.
Instead, focus on resolving any issues and working through them together. If you want an easy, civil divorce, you will put your energy toward being productive and resolving issues. Not only will this make your divorce easier, but it will also ensure that you two can remain civil for years to come.
KEEP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF
Emotions can easily get the best of us, and there are a lot of negative emotions that come with divorce. But if your goal is to keep your split civil and friendly, try to keep your negative thoughts to yourself rather than spewing them at your spouse every chance you get.
If you have negative thoughts about your partner, keep them to yourself or learn how to express them in a healthy way.
While discussing details of your divorce, it is best to focus on the task at hand. Try to avoid bringing up the past, reasons for the divorce, or any other issues that don’t help the situation. It can be tempting to make jabs at your spouse during this time, this will only make the situation harder for everyone and continue to build the resentment felt by both parties.
DON’T TALK BADLY ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN
No matter how hard your divorce may be or how much resentment you feel toward your spouse, never talk badly about them in front of your children. It is not fair to your children or your spouse. In ugly divorces, many people try to get their children to pick sides, talking poorly about their partner and putting their child in a tough place.
Dealing with a divorce is hard enough for your children, but putting them in the middle of it by belittling your spouse can make it even more difficult for your children to navigate this situation. Your child shouldn’t feel the need to pick sides; they should feel like they still have two parents who love them and will care for them no matter what. Plus, this is a great way to add even more tension to your divorce.
HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
It is important to go into your divorce with realistic expectations. Many people begin the divorce process with the expectation of winning. There is no winning in a divorce. Neither partner in a divorce will walk away with everything they wanted. When you begin the divorce process with realistic expectations, it is much easier to work out all the details, make fair decisions, and keep everything civil.
Going into a divorce with the goals of getting the upper hand and trying to get more than you may actually deserve is another easy way to make your divorce ugly. Be fair and generous, without being too generous, to make sure that your divorce can remain civil and friendly.
VIEW YOUR DIVORCE AS A TRANSITION
Divorce is difficult for many reasons, and for many people, it can be embarrassing. Some people view divorce as a failure, which can add to the resentment you may have for your partner. However, divorce can be just another transition in your life. It can be healing and freeing. It can give you a chance to change your life to make it what you want.
When you view divorce as a transition in your life, rather than a failure, you will have an easier time remaining civil. Sometimes things don’t work out, and while divorces shouldn’t be taken lightly, allowing those negative emotions to define you can make the entire situation harder.
Divorce is not an easy thing for anyone involved. Even if you wanted the divorce, going through the process is hard on you emotionally and mentally. While divorce is hard, that doesn’t mean it can be civil. When you work toward a friendly divorce, the entire process can become much easier for you, your partner, and your children.
If you are looking for a professional and knowledgeable divorce attorney to help you through the process, be sure to get in touch with our team at Self Legal Group in Oklahoma City.